(doors open)

Drill SGT: AAAAAALLLLLLLLL RIGHT THEN LADIES. WELCOME TO BASIC TRAINING. YOUR GATEWAY INTO HELL. NOW...GET INTO THE BARRACKS, TOMORROW REAL HELL STARTS at 0600

(next day)

Main 1: dude, so, this sh*t is so lame.
main 2: then why the hell did u join the marines?
main 1: because it was ethier this or college.
main 2: why wouldnt you go to college?
main 1: because college blows....id have to do all this math shit. fuck math
main 2: what did u get on ur ACT then?
main 1: a 2...
main 2: A 2!? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH. wat a loser!
main 1: ok then smart as, what the hell did u get then?
main 2: me?? ppfffffffff (ten seconds later)......a 1...
main 1: and you call me a loser
main 3: will you guys shut up! the sarge is comin.
(SGT walks in, all 5 guys soulte)

SGT:.....oh.....my.....god....PRIVATE! (points at main 1's bed) WHAT IN GODS NAME IS THIS?!
(his bed is a mess)
SGT: THIS IS DISGRASEFUL! EVERY 1 HAS 100 PUSH UPS!

all mains at once: awwwww FUC-

(push up scene, the spartens bodies are dead on the floor and the SGT is yelling)

all mains: (moaning, crying cuz they cant do push ups countines)

SGT: KEEP DOING THOSE PUSH UPS! WE ONLY GOT 3 DONE! COME ON LADIES!

SGT: (gets close to main 4) HEY! THOSE ARE FAT GIRL PUSH UPS! EVERY1 START OVER!

SGT: (gets on top of main 5) COME ON BIG BOY. DO THEM WITH ME ON UR BACK FOO!

(3 hours later)

(moaning and complaining stops)

SGT: WELL LADIES. THAT WAS THE WORST SET OF PUSH UPS IVE EVER SEEN. JUST FOR THAT SHIT, 10 MILE RUNS

(moaning and complaining starts again)

(main 4 pukes)

(6 hours later)

SGT: ALRIGHT LADIES, THAT WILL END OUR EXERCIE FOR THE DAY. 2MORROW, WE SHOOT! IF YOU DONT HAVE YOUR SMG. EVERY1 DOES TWICE AS MUCH WARM UPS! NOW MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE OUT!

(back in the barracks)

main 1: dude that was like....total hell
main 2: screw push ups. im going to fuckin blow the shit up 2morrow
Main 4: dude im so tired. i need a Big Mac so bad
Main 5: at least u guys didnt have a 185 pound man on top of u.
Main 3: i thought it was easy

(Main 1,2,4,and 5 stares at main 3)

main 3: wat? its only push ups and running.
main 1: i swear 2morrow when we get to shoot, the first thing im going to shoot is u.

(next day)

0500

main 1: oh sh*t, oh sh*t, oh sh*t, oh sh*t!
main 2: wat the hell are you whining about now?
main 1: my SMG! I CANT FIND IT!
main 2: WAT! HOLY SH*T! EVERY1 LOOK FOR HIS SMG!

(every1 looks for his SMG, 50 mins later)

main 1: dude! i cant find it anywhere!
main 2: well. we r scrrrrrrrrrrrrrewed.
main 3: maybe we should go face the sargeant.
main 2: yeah, f*ck that, we should sneak out of the base and run!
main 3: you do relize they can kill us for deserting right?
main 2: .....damn, yeah lets go see the sargeant

(they are in the bunker, with the Sargeant there, they soulte)

Main 1: sarge, um...i...um
SGT: hold your thoughts private. we had a theif last night while everyone was asleep. some weapons were stolen. so im going to give you another one. dont lose it. so anyway wat did you wana say now missy?
Main 1: i...um....just wanted to know that i dreampt of you last night.
SGT: son, are you gay or somethin?
Main 1: um...no sir
SGT: well good, cause the marines have no rooms for homos.